Saturday, March 13, 2010

Pregnant Pause, by Carrie Friedman

Pregnant Pause*Note- the full title of the book is Pregnant Pause: My Journey Through Obnoxious Questions, Baby Lust, Meddling Relatives, and Pre-Partum Depression.

I first must explain how I happened upon this book. Frustrated with getting a lot of pressure to become pregnant so soon into married life, I wrote a blog entry on my other blog site Tall Tales from a Small Town about this frustration. I was considering titling it "A Pregnant Pause" and googled the phrase to get a good definition. And then I found the book....and my salvation. I ordered it straight away.

I read the book in a day, because it was manna for my soul. Finally, someone understood.

Carrie wrote this book from a very personal perspective, explaining that she did want kids.....eventually. She talks about the fear of parenthood, the fear of how it will change her life as a woman, and the fear that she will become like those total whackado moms out there. You know the ones.

She also raises interesting, and valid points, about questionable parenting techniques that have become pop cultural norms, and offers explanations for why women push their maternal views on other members of their gender.

The thing I loved best is that Carrie gave a voice to thousands of women, probably hundreds of thousands. She made me feel normal, like there is absolutely nothing wrong with waiting to have a baby. It is not selfish, it is not abnormal, it is just the best decision for me.

Thank you, Carrie, for making me feel at home in my identity as a married woman, something I was struggling with. I have recommended that my husband read this as well, since it could have so easily been written by me, to allow him to better understand why I get so frustrated with the cultural baby craze on my behalf.

As a personal note, I did still write my blog on the same topic, and if interested, you can find it here. It is not nearly as brilliant as Carrie's book, but read it, and if you feel the same way, go buy Carrie's book, and spread the word.

This book is from my personal library.